i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
