I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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