i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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