is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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