I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My liver just had a heart attack.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
