I am in a vortex of obligation.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
