I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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