i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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