You're so nebulous sometimes
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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