we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
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phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
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No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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