You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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