Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
