I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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