Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
