Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
