This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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