Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
