Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
