woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
