you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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