girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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