I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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