STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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