Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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