I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
