woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
