She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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