When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I love having hate sex.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
