I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
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Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
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In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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