yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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