A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
