in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
