.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
