you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
