Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
