My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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