Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
