My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
