Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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