She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When did we convert life to cartoon?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
