Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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