ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
this hospital has no fireball
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
