Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
