Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize