Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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