My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i've created a new STD.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
