Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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