I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
