You're a womanizer and a bitch.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
