Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
