I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize