The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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