Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
