I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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