im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
