you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
