I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
