He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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