I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
