There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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