nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
When did angry sex become our thing?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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