Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
