Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
