omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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