come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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