I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
