Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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