when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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