My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize