Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
