You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
