Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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