I want to walk on stilts...naked
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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